Via facebook by Tambu-christel
As I grow into my personal womanhood I see the mistakes I have done in the past and some I still do but try to break away from. Today we’re gonna touch #InflatedEgo in men.
DISCLAIMER – I AM SHARING ALL THESE POSTS WITH YOU BECAUSE IT MAY HELP SOMEONE. I MAY NOT SAVE LIVES BUT I KNOW THAT MANY WOMEN STRUGGLE TO FIND THEIR OWN VOICES BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE WHAT MEN SAY “A WOMAN SHOULD BE” AND WHAT THE GOVERNMENT DICTATE WOMEN TO BE LIKE.
I was raised to be educated but a lady too. I am not one of these women acting like “dudes/ one of the guys” type. I am a lady and I am very feminine. In terms of relationships I was raised to have excellent home training and be a “traditional” wife that can do all that yet “stay in her lane” and let the head of the house just that, the head of the house. As a person, I am kind. I uplift people. I encourage them and push them to carry on believing in their beliefs. If a person feels bad or have a moment of doubt in themselves? I will make it my duty to cheer you up and bring out all the qualities about you/them.
However, I personally went as far as giving compliments to people that they didn’t deserve because it was not appropriate at a particular time to tell them “n**ga you ain’t shit”. I endured things that I know they would never tolerate from me if I did it to them because I though “Let this one go. It’s not about winning all the time”. I have been with people (also in friendship) just because I didn’t know how to break it down to them that I no longer felt we could be friends so I allowed them to treat me as though I was stupid because I could see how important it was for them but they had no clue I truly didn’t give a f**k anymore. Meanwhile, they thought they had me and were pulling some type of strings.
I know who I am and how I operate very well. Like everybody, I doubt at times and I have to reavalute my perspectives and objectives. But, I am so much more intelligent that let it be known. I need to start trusting my own intellect sometimes! As for the people I deal with, I can tell where their emotional and intellectual abilities stop. When I feel like you are very limited with your thoughts process and/or know better but purposely chose to act ignorant knowing that that very ignorance would affect people around you ESPECIALLY those who cared about you? Makes you a premeditated serial emotional killer and abuser. I can’t mess with them mind sets.
I’m the type play along though (don’t ask me why) until one day we just don’t talk no more. Natural course of life.
Also, don’t forget that I studies #psychology and law because I was always fascinated by human behaviour. The good. The bad. Values. Upbringing. Home training. Standards. Psychopaths vs sociopaths.
My personal issue is that I fell victim of past abuses where people “conditioned” me to be/stay in a certain place hence why I am now growing and learning to put all the pieces back together but yes… I see y’all 😏😉
Lifting your men, or whoever in your life, up NOT a bad thing but know your limits, balance or if they even deserve all that. Inflated egos and narcism can be dangerous. Encourage your men at all cost but be careful you don’t create a monster (read below):
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) lists 9 criteria for narcissistic personality disorder (NPD):
1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance.
2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
3. Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people
4. Requires excessive admiration [regularly fishes for compliments, and is highly susceptible to flattery].
5. Has a sense of entitlement.
6. Is interpersonally exploitative.
7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.
9. Shows arrogant, haughty [rude and abusive] behaviors or attitudes.
I believe the most obvious reasons for an inflated ego are:
1) unrealistic expectations regarding one’s own goals, performance and that of others. Inflated egos expect a lot from themselves and want to show the world how great they are. If they fail to do so and their most important social need is not met, they tend to blame others and see the world as unjust.
2) a deep feeling of being “not enough”. To compensate for that feeling, people with inflated egos show of the nine traits discussed above.
What all inflated egos have in common is their neediness. Instead of being socially independent and don’t depend too much on other people’s opinion and praise, inflated egos need the admiration and attention of others. They “care” about other people in a very different way than people with a healthy self-confidence. While the latter have a sincere interest in other people’s opinions and expertise without being anxious to know less or look “less successful”, inflated egos care only about how they look like next to other people, always searching for a way to prove their “importance”. Inflated egos hate being ignored, they need attention and they dislike people who disagree with them. They cling to their point of view and are unable to grasp, or accept, those of others. Unable to understand or be compassionate to people they disagree with, their overall attitude is likely to be both critical and dismissive.
People with inflated egos or narcissism often have a poor emotional intelligence. Not necessarily because they can’t see other people’s needs and point of view, but because they simply don’t care. Their capacity is “full” of their own needs and opinions.
Healthy egos, on the other hand, have both the ability and inclination to direct their attention outside themselves. More confident, and so nowhere as defensive as those with inflated egos, they’re far more likely to understand, and sympathize with, the experiences of others–especially those unlike themselves.
Thank me later.
FYI: It’s nice to read that I have a healthy ego but I am a tad narcissistic! I blame the power of selfies!! 😉